Someone Better
by Dathtato
Summary: "Waverly!" Wynonna slammed the front door, desperately running after her fuming sister, "Waverly! Can we please just talk about this!" They just needed to go back inside and talk about this like calm rational adults, something she herself had never thought was within her capabilities until her son, Nedley, was born.
1. Someone Better

**Got the idea, wrote some domestic fluff and angst. Hope you enjoy.**

"Waverly!" Wynonna slammed the front door, desperately running after her fuming sister, "Waverly! Can we please just talk about this!" They just needed to go back inside and talk about this like calm rational adults, something she herself had never thought was within her capabilities until her son, Nedley, was born. Named after their Sheriff, of course, but it had been one of those 'oh you saved my life' types of situations.

Waverly stopped on a dime and spun in a circle, her finger already pointed at Wynonna, "No! You betrayed me. Out of everyone in this town you- you and-" and she was off again, storming to the nearest car.

"It isn't like that! We didn't plan on it happening. Please come back inside and just talk to us." She stopped and banged on the cruiser's driver's door-window, just trying to get her sister to look at her as she angrily started the car. The car sped off, away from the homestead, and it forced her to jump back a little to avoid being clipped.

She had messed up, so fucking much right now. So, so fucking much. If she lost Waverly… well she isn't sure how she would react anymore. Before Nedley she would have gone to a bar and drank and fucked, drank until she couldn't see and fucked until she couldn't walk. Then the next day she would do it all again and again and again until one day she couldn't anymore. But that was before Nedley, before his presence forced her to stop being a coward that ran from all her problems and instead face them head on.

She supposed that it was her mother instincts, those little gene thingies high school had tried to teach her about, that kicked in the moment she first saw her son through the badly lit hallway of the high school. Or it was the first moment she had heard him cry as he was born, it almost being drowned out by the constant gunshots fired from his namesake, Dolls and Doc against the demon Clootey. Either way his actual physical presence had shocked her out of her delusions and changed her, there was no more drinking or being a flirt or anything. There was him, the rest of their misshapen family and the job. She would break the curse completely before he even had the chance to understand what fear was, she wouldn't do as her daddy had done and raise him to fire a gun. She wouldn't break him like her daddy had broken her and Willa. God, Willa.

She watched the snow pour down more, the dead of winter and she was dressed like it was a casually windy day in summer. With a sigh she walked back into her home, the one she and Waverly had crafted together when this all started and changed as need be, the most recent need being her son. The little fucker was too cute to not be smitten with; and she knew he knew it. He may be only five months old but she was sure he used his cuteness like a weapon on purpose.

Shutting the door softly this time Wynonna ambled into the kitchen and was met with a small smile from the most beautiful woman she had ever dated, and there had been many back in Athens, the smile only appearing even more ethereal now that her son was sleeping soundly in her girlfriend's arms. "She'll be back, baby." The redhead cooed at Nedley but spoke to Wynonna. "She'll understand, eventually."

"But what if she's right Nicole? What if I did betray her? I mean when we decided to tell her, we knew this could be the consequences. I don't regret being with you but what if?"

"Don't talk like that Nonna. We did nothing wrong, Waverly was the one that broke up with me."

"I know." Defeat laced her tone as she sagged into a chair and leaned into Nicole, looking down at her son who was sleeping contently. It had happened months ago, Nicole and Waverly had just reconciled from their fight about Waverly's DNA test when out of the blue Waverly dumped her. By then Wynonna and Nicole had become friends enough with each other that the redhead had come to cry on her shoulder. After that there were random visits to each other and they actually became very close friends, mainly because they both needed someone to talk to. When Nedley was out of her the random visits became daily because, like she said earlier, the little fucker used his cuteness like a tool and no one was immune. Not Dolls, not the demon Clootey and not the revenants. Then one day the visits started to go from an hour or two till late in the night where they would just talk and watch over a sleeping Nedley. It wasn't long after that that she had joked that if she didn't know any better than she would be jealous of all the affection Nedley was getting from the officer and Nicole had quipped that maybe she didn't know any better. One thing had led to another and she found herself waking up to a very naked friend spooning her the next day when her son started crying for food. Never one to put her foot in her mouth, the moment Nicole had woken up, Wynonna had screamed something nonsensical about doughnuts and booze.

"Want some tea?" She was sorely tempted to say yes, needing something warm to sooth her and coffee while breastfeeding was not a good idea, but she didn't want to come crawling out of her own little corner of Officer Haught or stop being gently rubbed on her aching back. Simply shaking her head she leaned up and kissed her girlfriend's throat. No, what she wanted was just to go crawl into bed and cuddle under the blanket with this chunk of her family but she still had to finish making dinner and feed Nedley again before that. As if on cue her son began wailing, immediately awake and hungry. "Someone needs some mama time." Nicole handed over Nedley and helped to lift her shirt up, her hands brushing up Wynonna's shrinking stomach and sending goose bumps all over her body. "You feed him and I'll finish dinner, okay?" Nicole left no room for argument with a kiss to her temple and Wynonna couldn't find it in herself to be annoyed that she had essentially just been given an order when she knew it was because Nicole knew she was tired. Physically and emotionally. Especially emotionally, with the pregnancy and her drive now to kill the remaining revenants her emotions had been frayed into a razor thin wire. Possibly the only thing still keeping her sane was the love Nicole showed, and her little cute fucker.

"Love you." She said impulsively, her momentary bravery now completely dissipated. She could play it off as speaking to Nedley but that wouldn't work seeing as Nicole wasn't making a sound behind her, probably frozen in place. Then an arm wrapped around her shoulders and a kiss was pressed to her cheek, "I love you too… especially when you eat all of yours greens." A bowl of broccoli appeared before her and she faked gagged at it and the joke.

"I'm your girlfriend not your daughter, you know." She joked back before looking at her son, content to let them both pretend this milestone had been something not quite as big or scary, "Hey kid, want to swap places? I'll take the tit and you take the trees." Nedley simply kept on sucking her tit, content with his human food source for now. Little did he know he was getting a bottle later on if he got hungry again.

"And here is the chicken." Nicole placed another plate in front of her, shoving the greens a little out of the way. The plate had chicken and a few pieces of bacon that she hadn't taken out of the fridge earlier. "Only healthy food, right?" Her girlfriend's voice cadence gave no hint of the magically appearing bacon that was definitely not healthy.

"Thanks, babe." Nicole's one plate held the same but with only one piece of the bacon. As soon as her own bacon hit her tongue she moaned in pleasure and left her girlfriend beet red and gaping, the effect so much more stronger because one of her breasts were still revealed from below Nedley's legs.

"Don't tease, Nonna." Nicole said with a dry throat.

"Or what." She smirked and winked at the redhead who was struggling to look her in the eye, her eyes flickering between Wynonna's eyes and breast. So she may not have changed completely when it came to being a flirt but at least now she was a flirt only with her girlfriend.

Things were getting heavy between them, their make out session in her room was starting to become more of a nude grinding party. It was nothing they haven't done before but still there were the hesitant touches, the consenting questions and the need to help the other make them feel good when both knew how to do just that. It was as if- no, they both were scared- to completely let go and have crazy sex. She didn't know why but guessed it was because they both knew if something went wrong, so wrong it ended everything between them, that it would be easier if they never completely gave in. Finally Nicole removed her panties, the redhead's tongue slowly moving up her inner thigh, arching over where she was needed before trailing down to meet-

"Wynonna!" Came her sister's loud voice just before she burst into the room, immediately taking in the scene, "Fuck!" and slamming the bedroom door closed as she disappeared.

"Oh my God, Waverly!" She screamed out and scrambled to make herself decent as Nicole did the same. Then she heard it over the baby monitor and her heart paused for a moment. It was a sharp intake of breath. He was awake from their yelling and he was going to cry now. Shit, if he started crying now it would ruin his sleeping schedule that she tried so hard to get him on. It felt like forever as the second they were in passed by slowly and then he started crying. "Shit."

"Is there a bottle in the fridge?" Nicole asked her, the officer trying to put a sweater on at the same time. She nodded dumbly, "Then you go after her and I'll take care of him."

"You're the best." She kissed the redhead quickly and ran off following the sounds of her sister. Emerging into the bottom bathroom she found Waverly bent over the sink washing her face with a passion. "Waves, what are you doing?"

"Trying to scrub that image out of my head." Wynonna could relate to that, while Waverly and Nicole had still been dating she had accidently walked in on their more private moments too many time for comfort. "That was disgusting."

"Hey!" She frowned at her sister. "I didn't complain when it was you two."

"You just grumbled a lot." Waverly grumbled out. "Next time at least put a sock on the door."

"Does this mean that you're okay with us being together?"

"It took quite a lot of convincing and some alcohol, but yes. I don't really have a say in the matter."

"Oh Waves, you'll always have a say." She might just not follow it. Regardless she hugged her sister tightly, not wanting to let go and show her damn emotional eyes.

"It's just it was a surprise and kind of hard. I still have feelings for her."

"Then why did you break up with her? Why not get back together?"

"Because I don't deserve her. I cheated on her the day before I ended it and I knew then that I had to let her go for someone better."

"If you ever want to try again-"

"No, she found someone better and I'm happy for her, for both of you.

"Thanks." She nearly choked on her tears, damn post pregnancy hormones. Or that was her excuse.

"Hey mama, someone doesn't want his bottle." Nicole walked in with gentle eyes and a screaming infant.

"Yeah, kid's like me. Prefers it straight from source." Wynonna walked and took Nedley who calmed down a little once he was in her arms, probably already anticipating his meal. "What are we going to do with you?" She cooed down at her child as Nicole followed her to her bedroom.

 **So? Any thoughts or opinions?**


	2. Date Night

**It's always odd posting a One-Shot and seeing people liking them. Logically it makes sense but, in my experience, the works that only contain a single short chapter are the ones authors don't really get attached too. I spend a lot of time on works that contain multiple chapters because they require more attention, more care and consideration. As a result those are often left in a zone of love and hate. You love writing them because it gives you satisfaction but you hate writing them because it gives you stress. This all means that when writing a single chapter story the author can just go insane and do as they please, they don't spend that time fretting over their work and don't develop the same bond with it, which is why I was surprised when people seemed to like the first work in this series. I mean if you go look and compare it to my work 'Overqualified' in regards to the number of comments or likes then the former shouldn't even that big of a deal. But again, you don't form that attachment which is why it is always a nice surprise to see that people like it.**

 **Also I poke fun at a few common tropes in both life and fiction nowadays.**

 **But you probably don't care about all that. So... TO THE STORY!**

Date Night.

Most probably the two scariest words she knew combined. Reincarnating revenants? No sweat. Demon Clootey? Pish posh. Giving birth? That was high up there on the scary list but irrelevant at the moment, so it came to a close third right after 'sick Nedley'; her son not the sheriff.

So why exactly was it scary? For a plethora of reasons; hey what can she say, reading was actually not that bad and with a baby it was preferable to drinking, especially the _romance_ novels. Wink-wink, nudge-nudge. Anyway, date night meant a few things. One, Nedley would be away from her for a longer amount of time than it took to use the bathroom. Secondly, this would be her and Nicole's first proper date. Sure they had had little home 'dates' but those were not quite as intimate as she could guess tonight's would be. Or as intimate as Purgatory could provide them with, small towns didn't really have many options. Thirdly and finally, much to her now shame this would her first proper date. Not in a few months or years but ever. She had never had a proper fucking date. Hell, when would she even have had time to have one? Somewhere between shooting her own father and running away to Greece or between sleeping with random Greeks to have a roof over her head and coming back to this godforsaken town to put the bad guys back into the hole they crawled out of? Maybe it was somewhere during her inordinate amount of drinking and fucking. So this in a demented twist would sort of be like giving her virginity to Nicole, her date virginity not her real virginity… because that was most certainly long gone. God, she hoped that she didn't say something stupid in front of her girlfriend tonight.

Now she was left desperately trying to decide, like some idiot rom-com actress, between two dresses and she had no fucking clue which one. Grabbing both from their hangers she ran down the stairs crashing into the banister at the corner, which she promptly ignored the pain from. She ended with a skid in the living room and took a deep breath. Finding four sets of eyes on her she choked a little at her own stupidity.

"Uh, so… which one for my date." Why was she being shy about this? A couple of months ago the question would have come out as 'Listen up you yahoos, which dress makes me look like more of a sexy don't mess with me goddess?" and now she was struggling to not blush under three of their gazes. Wynonna held up both dresses, swaying them up and down and smiling inwardly as her son stared mesmerised at each option though outwardly she flinched at the swiftly passing expression of hurt on Waverly's face. May the Lord bless her sister for being the sweet person she was, after that initial reaction they had gotten out of her Wynonna was scared she might lose her sister. She tried to keep the Nicole talk to a minimum but she was too fucking in love with the redheaded cop to do it and Waverly would go insane if she heard Wynonna tell the story of Nedley's missing sock again and where she found it. That wasn't a guess, Waverly had literally told her she wasn't allowed to mention that story again for a week. Jokes on Waverly though because in two days' time the week was up. Spoiler alert: The sock was on the roof.

"Wynonna darling, you would look positively radiant in both those dresses." Doc tried and even if it was meant to be helpful, it just wasn't but the puppy dog look she got from him that had her biting her tongue to not quip something mean about his hat.

"White one, Earp." Dolls said without looking up from the book he was thoroughly enjoying while sprawled out on the couch.

"Waves?" She looked down at her sister, who was on the floor playing with Nedley before his bed time. He was getting so big now at the age of six months that she could hardly bare to be away from him. Her sister looked between the two and Wynonna tried to not feel like an asshole for putting Waverly through helping her sister go on a successful date with her own ex-girlfriend who she happened to still like but dumped because she kissed another woman. What were their lives? Wynonna would swear that this was the type of shit that only came out of the shows or books.

"Blue does look good on you… but Xavier is right. You have always looked amazing in white."

"I usually am." He quipped while turning a page. "Wynonna, one question. Should I be worried about you reading a book titled The Nurse's Love?" He showed her the front cover of the book he was reading and she cursed him for making her blush. Her blushing would not look good, at any time.

"Pot meet kettle." She quipped and he nodded his understanding of the tacit words, shifting so that his crotch was no longer available to prying eyes.

"Shit!" She cursed and rang up stairs to her bedroom the moment the doorbell started chiming. Nicole was early! Or Wynonna was late! She couldn't be bothered to check as she threw herself into her room and wrestled her clothes off. Slipping on the dress she checked her make-up one last time before thrashing in her closet for the matching shoes. Looking at the scattered mess of her room she finally spotted the tip of a white high-heel peeking out from below her bedding. Make-up? Check. Hair? Check. Dress? Check. Shoes? Check. Clutch? Check. Peacemaker? Check. What was she forgetting? She was forgetting something but what was it? What was- jacket! She needed a jacket. Grabbing her usual leather jacket she hoped that this would be her final descent of the stairs for the night.

Landing on the bottom of the homestead she felt like someone had just sucker-punched her with a logging truck the exact second she caught sight of Nicole. She was… fucking gorgeous. Standing there talking to Wynonna's wrangled babysitters for the night in her blue dress and flats and the view when she bent down to play with Nedley wasn't half bad. In that moment Wynonna knew she was so irreversibly in love that her lungs were burning… shit she had forgotten how to breathe. How did people breathe again? Was it out then in? No that was stupid. Her body naturally recovered and she took a deep greedy gulp, signalling the others to her arrival. Then Nicole just had to go turn and smile at her, her head slightly tilted, and Wynonna couldn't breathe again.

"Hey." It was simple and small, familiar but Nicole speaking it made it very hard to think straight. No, that was not a pun.

"I'm giving you my date virginity." Wynonna rushed out through a dopey smile, not thinking about her words. Nicole's eyes just went wide and her brow furrowed, Dolls used the book to cover his face while snickering _hard_ and Waverly and Doc both held their faces in their hands heaving frustrated sighs.

"What?" Nicole choked out in a tiny voice. Her smile returning as she overcame her initial shock, and a rosy blush appearing on her cheek.

"Nothing." She glowered at everyone in her home, except her precious son who got a small smile. "You guys have all the numbers right? For the hospital, Nedley's home doctor, the police-

"Which we are, Earp." Dolls interrupted from his dissipating giggles.

"Don't get smart with me Barney." She glared at him. "And remember that he needs to be asleep no later than seven and he might need to get changed again before that and if there are any and I mean any-" She stopped her rambling when a hand gently grasped her elbow.

"Nonna." Nicole looked at her softly. "Calm down baby, we're just going to dinner then coming straight back. Nedley's on the homestead, you know the one place in the world were no evil can come onto. And he's with your sister, the world's fastest gun slinger and a half-man half-lizard that can breathe fire."

"Yeah… okay." She sighed out. She turned back to their audience, "anything happens you call me immediately or I will send all of you to hell. Bye my baby, mommy will see you later tonight." She kissed her cute little fucker and forced herself with all of her strength to give him back to Waverly. It was just two hours tops, she could do this. If she could kick ass every day and still be swinging then she could part from her son for two hours. Two… whole… hours.

But they were two hours with Nicole, so time would fly.

"Bye guys." Nicole sing-songed as she escorted Wynonna to the door. "Ready to lose your date virginity?" She asked the conflicted mother in a coquettish manner.

"I will literally shoot you." She tried to threaten but it fell flat with the accompanying blush. Dammit.

"But then who will give you your doughnuts?" Her date bumped her hips a little as they bantered to Nicole's car.

"You got me doughnuts?" Excitement laced her voice and suddenly she was salivating.

"For after yes." The redhead grinned without meeting her eyes.

"No fair." She pouted but obliged and got into the car, Nicole shutting the car door gently after her and rounding the car. "So where are we going?" She eyed the redhead suspiciously, not liking that their venue for the evening was a surprise and trying to avoid sniffing the car for doughnuts like a bloodhound. But she could smell them!

"Oh, you'll like it." Nicole smirked at her and for an instant she felt herself relax a little. Hopefully it was nothing too fancy or she was going to spend the night being embarrassed. She could never remember whether it was work your way in or out when using the utensils.

When they pulled up to Stacy's Bistro Wynonna nearly sighed in relief. It was one of the best dining places in Purgatory and a place she was very familiar with. On tough days she liked to buy a to-go meal from the restaurant for her and then walk a little up the road with Nedley and watch Purgatory's own county curling team, The Purgatory Poacher's, led by her son's namesake practice. It was a tad boring to watch in reality but it soothed her troubled mind and soul more than alcohol ever had.

Reaching for the door handle, "Ah-ah, don't you dare." Nicole interrupted before jumping out of the car and opening the door for her. She should be pissed and give some rant that she was an able bodied woman who could open her own damn door, and she would have done it, maybe, if she could stop blushing from being treated so wonderfully on her first real date. Nicole doing all of this was just affirming her opinion that she would raise Nedley with the same discipline so that he could treat his future wife, or husband, the same way. As long as he was respectful and gave her grandchildren. Grandchildren she could spoil rotten!

"Thank you." She said shyly while looking at the floor.

"Relax Nonna, this is nothing we haven't done before." The words were said soothingly but they did nothing to relieve the knot in her stomach. She was scared, scared to mess this all up and lose someone she clearly loved. It wasn't like her to be like this. She was Wynonna goddamn Earp, killer of evil and self-proclaimed final heir to the curse. A person who acted first and thought second in all regards but Nedley. She was a big girl and could do this, so with one large breathe she marched alongside Nicole to the restaurant and instantly started blushing again when Nicole held open the glass door for her, losing all of her fake bravado.

"Welcome ladies." The hostess greeted from behind the cash register.

"Hi." Nicole smiled brightly at the woman, "Reservation under Haught."

"Follow me please." The hostess led them through the grill house to one of only open tables. Odd that for such a small town it was packed. "Here are the menus and a wine list, your server for the evening will be right with you." She must have been frowning at the wine list because-

"It's fine baby." Nicole spoke apparently reading her inner conflict about the wine list. She couldn't drink as it would affect her breast milk production, or her milk jugs as she liked to call them, and therefore affect Nedley whom was still being breastfed but she didn't want to stop Nicole from drinking but she also didn't want to be the only sober one of the two of them. "I'm not usually much of a drinker, unless someone drags me down to a strip club in the middle of the day and forces me to drink a few entire pitchers of beer by myself as they retell their _Aphrodite_ adventures." Nicole winked at her and she cursed herself for blushing again. What was she? A schoolgirl with her first crush?

No, this is not how she would act.

"Oh, you've seen nothing yet. _Haughty._ " She winked at her girlfriend at the end of her play on words. Nicole was hot so it only made sense to call her so and the blush she got in return made her grin in victory.

"So what can I get you to drink?" Their wait- she was going to kill someone- waiter came up. His body language giving away his uncomfortableness at the situation.

"Jeremy…"

"Jeremy? Jeremy who? I'm-" Jeremy tugged at his name badge trying to read it upside down from where it was clipped to his uniform. "Sanjay." He gulped nervously. "So… drinks?"

"Okay, Sanjay the waiter. Can I get a water." She spoke through gritted teeth, she was going to murder Dolls and whoever else was a part of this moronic surveillance operation.

"Same here, thanks Jeremy." Nicole smiled at him politely and gently took Wynonna's suddenly twitchy hand. "You are not going to shoot Jeremy or the rest of them. They are just being protective over you." And Wynonna really was ready to quip some sarcastic comment about it but Nicole's thumb was rubbing circles on her hand now and she lost her train of thought. Dammit.

"Yeah well… as long as he behaves and is the only one here then it's fine." She smiled back at her girlfriend and flipped their hands, using her index finger to draw random patterns into her palm.

"So what do you recommend here Nonna?" Using her free hand to flip through the small menu.

"Well, I've always liked this place's meat. The juicier the better." She spoke with a bout of lustful confidence again, comfortable at last with the date and what it entailed.

"Don't you mean rawer?"

"We both know that's not what I meant."

"Don't start something you might not be able to finish Nonna." Nicole smirked at her, the challenge clearly being sent across their table.

"Oh, I always finish. But then again, you already know that." She winked back and watched a light blush on Nicole's cheeks appear again.

"I do know," Nicole leaned forward and Wynonna copied her, bringing their faces as close as the table would allow, "but I also know that when you finish, you finish with-"

"And here is your waters, madams." Jeremy interrupted with an oblivious wide-eyed smile and they both scooted back. "So what will we be having to eat tonight?"

"Uh… Wynonna?" Nicole struggled to speak through her dry throat.

"Steak. Three hundred grams. Medium-rare. Got it Sanjay?" She glared at him and he took an involuntary step back.

"Um, yes madam. And for you miss?" He nearly begged Nicole.

"Ribs, please Jeremy. Well done." She smiled that polite smile again as he scurried away. Then her face got serious as she turned to the brunette. "If he interrupts one of our moments again you can shoot him as many times as you want."

"Officer Haught, are you a member of the police force preaching the illegal action of hurting someone? Of unnecessarily using a firearm and committing a felony?" She spoke scandalized. "It would be my pleasure." She smiled her darkest smile before returning to their previous conversation. "So you like your meat well done then?"

"Well what can I say? If I'm going to have to taste something with my tongue then I want it to be properly prepared and flavourful."

"Oh, I knew you were a tease sometimes Haught, but this is a whole new side to you."

"Just putting in the pre-preparations for my meal later tonight, baby." Nicole's foot slid up her calf and she shivered a little.

"Oh really, and what exactly makes you think you're going to get another meal later on tonight?" She leaned forward again, grinning like a mad fool.

"Well you see, I found out my girlfriend has this one place on her body, this tiny little spot on her back, that when I touch it she melts. And then it's basically an all you can eat buffet."

"Sounds like she's putty in your hands. So why not get more meals more frequently?" She was teasing now but a part of her also genuinely wanted to know the answer. When had she become so malleable to another person?

"I would but between that and watching her interact with her son I'm too busy drowning in my love for the woman."

Again she wanted to blame her post-pregnancy hormones on the fact that she wanted to cry from happiness. "Nicole," She retook her girlfriend's hand and brushed a thumb along the knuckles, "I just really need to say that I love-"

"Deputy Haught. Wynonna." Sheriff Nedley greeted them and broke their little moment. One more time and she was going to start to shooting at people.

"Sir."

"Nedley, what are you doing here?" Wynonna Earp's kill list: Xavier Dolls, Jeremy Chetri, Randy Nedley and whoever else was in on this surveillance operation.

"The misses and I came here for date night." He winked and pointed them to a table with an eagerly waving woman.

"And here is your food, sorry for the delay ladies." He and Sheriff Nedley shared a confused look. "Is there anything else I can bring you?" Jeremy spoke to pre-emptively kill whatever the sheriff wanted to say. Wynonna Earp's kill list updated: Xavier Dolls, Jeremy Chetri, conspirators, and Randy Nedley? Still to be determined.

"We hope you enjoy it sir, please send our regards." Nicole spoke up quickly, ending this awkward encounter as efficiently and nicely as she could. "No thank you Jeremy, we're fine for now."

Finally they were alone again, "I think the Sheriff is here to be protective over you, Officer Haught. To make sure I don't corrupt you."

"Little does he know that it's way too late for that." She joked back and they awkwardly kissed over the table and their food.

He leaned onto the window sill that showcased the eating area from his point of view in the kitchen. The cold tiles doing nothing to deter his dreamy sigh. "When is someone going to kiss and look at me like that?"

"I'm sure there has been someone like that in your past." Rosita sighed from next to him in a similar bearing.

"No, I haven't even had my first kiss yet." He said glumly.

In an act of friendly solidarity she leaned to him, "You know if you were ever wondering what it's like, we-"

"I'm super gay. Like gayer than gay gay." The renunciation came nervously, "I mean thanks for the offer and you're hot and all but-"

"Hey, I understand. It was just an offer." She raised her conciliatory hands. They were just here to do a job for the night.

"Do you smell something burning?" Jeremy sniffed the air but didn't shift from his position watching the two love birds.

"Hey, there cute together and both smoking hot but maybe a bit too lewd. There's no need for metaphors here."

"What?" He frowned at the revenant, "No like, do you actually smell something burning?"

She glanced behind her and saw her pan had caught fire, "Shit!" The cook for the night ran off to try and extinguish the flames that were jumping along the kitchen, threatening to lick up the walls.

"Aww, look there sharing food!" He tutted watching them trade small pieces with each other, oblivious to the scene behind him.

"That food was so good." Wynonna patted her stomach as they walked to the car. "Good enough that I may just not kill Jeremy tomorrow."

"Best I've had in this town. Did they get a new cook?"

"If they did they definitely need to keep whoever it is."

"My lady." Nicole swung the door open for her and waited.

"You're treating me to high standards tonight, babe." Wynonna kissed her over the door before getting in.

"Not at all." Nicole smirked and shut the door again. "I'm simply being chivalrous to my girlfriend. _Proper_ date needs a proper code to follow with."

"Why did you say it like that?"

"Why did I say what like what?"

"You said proper as if you didn't really think it was."

"I don't think it's not a proper date but any date with you is always fantastic. Especially the home dates."

"I don't think you could be any more perfect." They leaned over the parking brake and kissed again. "Except if you knew that chivalry is actually the code whereby it is believed knights lived even though the actual rules or whatever were formally written slash created less than two-hundred years ago. Long after all the knights had made their peace. And it basically has nothing to do with dating."

Nicole looked at her amused and she blushed a little, _again._ Dammit! "What? I had to have learnt something in my sojourn in Athens."

"Okay, guess that means I don't have to give you the doughnuts I bought and can rather eat them all by myself. Right. In. Front. Of. You." She teased, already reaching backwards to retrieve the hidden box for Wynonna.

"Don't. You. Dare. Haught." Wynonna gave her best mock-glare and opened her jacket to show off Peacemaker. She didn't bother hiding her pleased smile as a full box of doughnuts were set on her lap. Opening the lid she scoped them out trying to find the best one, the one that would cause an orgasmic moan naturally.

Right in the middle of the box she found it, and… It. Was. Beautiful. Then like a mirage it disappeared from her view and she stared at her sinisterly entertained girlfriend whom was holding the golden ball of deep-fried goodness. "Chivalry is dead, Nonna." And she bit it!

 **Hoped you liked. Comments are always loved, really really loved. Check out my profile and if you want more works in this series then please just send me ideas.**


	3. Chapter 3: The Wedding Job

It wasn't perfect. It wasn't them. It wasn't what they wanted.

But it was theirs.

It was their wedding day and she be damned if she let trivial things like the flowers being the wrong colour or them getting married in the high school gym ruin her and Nicole's wedding day. They had fought about it of course, all couples did… probably. How the fuck would she know, she had no married friends. Nicole wanted her in a white wedding dress which they couldn't afford unless it came out of the budget for Nicole's ring, which Wynonna adamantly refused to allow. Going as far as to whip out Peacemaker- Oh! Now she understood the name of the gun! - And allowing its mere presence to settle the argument, once and for all. Well, until Nicole withdrew her own service pistol from its hip holster.

That was only the first of many fights, and as the wedding day drew closer their fights escalated in frequency and intensity. They had fought over many things but it all essentially, except for the odd fight about Nicole not wanting their guns at the wedding and wanting to follow more of the traditions, boiled down to they couldn't afford what they wanted. Who knew that being an agent for an extinct secret branch of the government or being a Sheriff's deputy didn't pay that well. That along with child, not that she or Nicole would ever think of placing the blame on Nedley, expenses didn't help their cause. Wedding venue's, while limited to one in Purgatory as it was a small town and with the church being burned down almost two years ago and never being rebuilt, were costly. Flower arrangements and schemes, she wanted black and hot pink whereas Nicole wanted something a little more traditional white, were costly. The catering services were limited… and costly. Small town equals few options and weddings equals big expenses. Get it? Good. Wedding dresses and suits, well let's just say she would rather stack up her entire life savings, by that she meant the last three years of money she managed to cobble together into a savings account, and watch it go up in flames as she danced naked around it like a sober drunk fool.

So now here they were, her standing at the makeshift altar which consisted of the decades old podium that was present before her own formative years in these hallowed rotting halls and a ratty old Christmas wreath, or as she like to call it: a decorated grass doughnut, they had found in the attic of the homestead, in her best pair of black jeans and a white blouse she had borrowed from the sheriff's wife as she waited for Nicole to come in. Jeremy, their shanghaied wedding co-ordinator, would play the 'Here comes the bride' song once Rosita, Waverly's revenant girlfriend of near six months and Nicole's flower girl, signalled him. Their other friends and family would stand, all four of them. All four of their paranormal looking asses. Barney the fire dinosaur, or Xavier Dolls if you just had to use his real name; Waverly, daughter to Bobo and half revenant caretaking aunt of her son for the day; Doc Holliday, semi-immortal gun slinger with a broom on his upper lip; and Robert Sven, former enemy now ally revenant with a penchant to over gush about his daughter. It was actually sweet in way but everyone except Bobo it seemed was long past uncomfortable with it. Sheriff Nedley was also invited, his wife along with naturally, but he graciously declined on the well-known fact that with Purgatory's reputation for throwing a monkey wrench into the works at times of important events it was better he not attend the wedding instead of his only other member on the police force who just so happened to be one of the brides.

Then their town's newest priest, jittery fresh from whatever celibate hole he slithered out of, would give a stuttered and sweaty version of the normal spiel about until death do us apart, which in their lives might come sooner than later and she would always take those words very seriously. Finally they would have to make a hasty exit so that the B-team basketball players could have their two o'clock exercise slot.

It was shitty even by her standards. If this had been the case years ago before Nedley was born, well it would still be shitty but she would have cared less or pretended to at least. The moment she saw him though, something fundamental in her had changed. Gone was the drinking, her, a kind word for it would be, proclivity for the unpleasant tasting liquids never returned. Gone was the junk food, except doughnuts which she never shared, with the exception of her son who was only allowed small amounts to make sure his sugar intake wasn't excessive, diabetes was an epidemic to which no one was immune especially in their country, and her soon to be wife whom had made it impossible to not want to give her one each and every time when on their first date away from the homestead Nicole had with dark amusement decreed 'Chivalry is dead' and gone to bite the ball of deep-fried goodness but missed completely and bit her own thumb hard enough to draw blood and ended up with a sugar circle surrounding her nose.

Still, it wasn't all bad. Waverly had managed to gather some of their nicer linens, curtains and scarfs to decorate the corner they were in and Doc and Xavier had scrounged some proper chairs together and not the plastic lawn chairs that she and Nicole had originally planned to use. Rosita had managed to get a single bouquet of flowers from the discount aisle in the grocery market, most likely there originally because they were half dead. That didn't stop the friendly revenant flower girl from trying to make them seem beautiful by scattering the bouquet into clusters around their little corner. And Jeremy had plugged his phone into a portable loudspeaker.

Okay, maybe it was all bad. And shitty. She could probably count on one hand all the good things about this day and still be unafraid to cut a few fingers off. Pinkie, she was marrying a sexy cop with common sense and intellect who she loved dearly and loved her and her son back wholeheartedly. Ring finger, she and Nicole had gotten each other the perfect rings. Middle –the fuck you- finger, all of their friends and family were here. Yeah that was kind of sad by normal standards as they only had seven guests in total… but still they were all here. Index finger, her son in his cute little suit and combed back black hair was the ring bearer and she knew with unwavering support that he was going to do it perfectly. Thumb…

Would you look at that, she was wrong. She would only need to cut off one finger. Four out of five wasn't bad. Unless you took into account the other hand then four out of ten wasn't great. Did she have to include toes? Because four out of twenty sounded pitiful. Never mind though, those were the only four things that mattered.

"Mommy!" A little body crashed into her legs freeing her from her dreary thoughts, she automatically smiled bright and picked her son up.

"Hi baby. Are you enjoying the wedding so far?" She asked him as her sister came close to retrieve her wayward ward.

"No mommy, when begin?"

"Soon baby. Can you show me your watch?"

"Yes!" He giggled and lifted his arm up but struggled to get the jacket sleeve down.

"Here Neddy, let mommy help." Together with him she pulled it down a little and exposed the little digital Scooby Doo watch. Doc had gotten him it for his second birthday and it was his favourite. He literally never left his room without it on and often cried for her or Nicole or Doc, whom had taken up residence in the converted barn after Nedley's birth, to help him put it on in the mornings. The simple answer for his strong attachment to it would be because in the television time he was allowed all he watched was that bloody dog, most times Doc watched with him and she was sure Doc was just as amazed by the cartoon hound, but a more realistic answer would be that it was a gift from his father. "See these numbers here?" He nodded and stared in fascination, "When it says a four and then a five we should have started, okay?" They were supposed to have started when it had said a two and a five but Nicole was late.

"Okay mommy. Love." He enraptured her in a tight hug and just as explosively gave her a goodbye kiss before jumping out of her arms and high-tailed it to Barney. Another favourite activity of his was to watch Dolls's eyes glow yellow on command.

Oh! Thumb, her son was the cutest most perfect little fucker in the world. Five out five. Fuck yeah!

"Hey, you ready?" Waverly came up to her all smiles and optimism. It had been an odd and sometimes difficult two years for them but here they all were, at a point were the two sisters were both in love and not with the same woman, thankfully.

"Yeah, do you mind checking where she is? We were supposed to start twenty minutes ago and if we don't start now then I'm going to have to shoot some kids today for pelting us with red rubber balls." Okay maybe she was sort of possibly freaking the FUCK out that this wedding hadn't started yet and maybe just maybe she was trying not to think that her wife to be had gotten cold feet.

"Dad just went." So perhaps Waverly wasn't entirely too uncomfortable with Bobo being an annoyingly over proud parent, Wynonna was really glad she herself wasn't like that, and Waverly actually liked to bask in it. Not like she didn't deserve the praise, what with all the things she had studied and memorised. Daddy's perfect little angel. "Calm down, we've all seen the way she looks at you. She's not going anywhere except to her wedding." Waverly rubbed her arms in support or to calm her down.

"Good Afternoon." Bobo announced as he re-entered the gym, familiar tacky fur coat back in place. "Is everyone having a good time? Well I hope so because I'm only going to say this once, maybe twice, I haven't decided yet. I," He emphasised it with a heightened drawl, "have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that there will be a wedding happening today… on my terms." He came to a smirking halt in front of her, gloating in his eyes. "What are they you ask?" His head swivelled briefly to look at Waverly, "Hi Pumpkin." He smiled brightly. He faced Wynonna again, leaning in to whisper, "Well you see, that's the bad news. All these festivities you've engaged in like drunken pigs is poisonous." He frowned at the shitty wreath he had picked up from the makeshift altar, the same one he had hung not an hour ago, before putting it back. "You will slowly go bat shit crazy. Exhibit A: Your eyebrow." Though she didn't know it, her eyebrow always twitched when her nerves were shot. He gently took her chin in his gloved hands, "How you doing champ? Not good!" He tenderly pushed her head back as he released it but it still forced her to take a step back. "One lucky bride will receive her counterpart, all she has to do is bring me a few ingredients." He shoved a note into her hand before forcibly closing it and crumpling the note, "Have fun." He left with a flippant lilt in his voice.

Everyone stood there shocked at the abrupt change in the man, what they had seen know more closely resembling the Bobo Del Ray they knew from years ago when he poisoned the town and not the Robert Sven, as he preferred these days, they had come to know slowly and cautiously.

She was going to kill him. She was going to empty Peacemakers entire cylinder into him. Then reload it and shoot all the bullets into his stupid fucking face again. She was going to drag him over the town line and watch as he turned into a puddle of goo before bringing him back and doing it all over again. Multiple times. He wouldn't be able to beg for death by the time she was done with him.

"Wynonna. It's okay. We'll find her, he won't hurt her." Waverly desperately said, her eyes wide and nose twitching like it always did when she lied as a kid.

"I'm going to kill him Waves, I'm really going to kill him." She replied still looking at where he had exited, her hand reaching for Peacemaker which laid on her hip.

"Please Wynonna, I'll go talk to him. Convince him that this is wrong and to let Nicole go. I'd be surprised if she isn't already walking about free by the time you walk through those doors."

"Fine, but if she isn't free by the time I have all the things on this stupid list… Then I'm sorry."

Waverly ran to catch up to her father as she stood there struggling to not kill him now. "Dolls, Doc." They immediately looked at each other questioningly, having a metal conversation, before staring at her. "Go check all the regular places Bobo and his crew used to hang out." She turned to their sweaty lab technician, "Jeremy go to the station and see if you can track Nicole's phone." She looked around the hall, "And where the hell is Rosita?"

She turned to their priest, it was an all hands on deck situation, and saw he had fainted. Pathetic. "Come on Neddy." She scooped up her son as he ran past her, oblivious to the whole ordeal. "Do you want to go on a treasure hunt with mommy?" She put on her best smile and hoped he wasn't smart enough yet to see through it, see the tears she felt were always present. Especially when she thought about what waited for them all.

"Buried treasure?" His eyes went wide at the prospect and had it been any other day she would be beyond thrilled at his excitement but all she could think was she hoped to God the treasure wasn't buried.

"No baby. It's other mommy." She watched as he pursed his lips and thought about it.

"Okay, miss her." He settled his head on her shoulder right before snapping it back up, "Wedding?"

"Soon baby, soon." She hoped and adjusted his growing body, his presence doing just enough to calm her emotions from causing any physical reactions, it wouldn't do to cry on her wedding day after all. She hurried to the car, trying to read the list as she went. The first 'ingredient' as he had put it wasn't even a bloody thing, it was an address. They were all fucking addresses. So not only does he ruin her already shit-stained wedding, now he has the balls to actually send her on a scavenger hunt. Fuck him. He wasn't going to have the pleasure of more time after this was over. The moment she saw Nicole was alive and well, he was getting a bullet to the head.

Arriving at the first location she nearly drove her car over the curb and into the smug waiting face of Bobo and his fucking fur jacket. Stopping slowly in the designated mommy parking space, she slammed the door closed and stomped up to him, whipping Peacemaker to rest with the barrel right between his eyes. The gun automatically glowing its orange spiral and glyphs but spitting out momentary flickers every few seconds. "What," She growled out, her voice strained and tears forming. "Are you doing here?"

His face changed from smugness to almost boredom, "I thought I'd help out." He brought two fingers up and slid the barrel down to his mouth where he licked it to produce a small puff of smoke, before moving it away from his face. "Keep you on track, on schedule." He sighed out. "You know, minimise chances of you going and screwing up the plan."

"I have others to help me do that." She smirked glad to have a small upper hand in this fiasco.

"Tsk-Tsk, Wynonna. Do you?"

"I swear if you've-" She brought the gun back up but he yanked it from her grasp and pocketed it inside his fucking fur coat, his hand sizzling from the momentary contact. She was going to burn that ratty fucking coat.

"I haven't harmed them at all. I haven't done anything to anyone in fact." He smirked at her.

"So Waverly couldn't talk sense into you." She commented as she walked back to the car and got her son.

"What sense was there to talk? In the end I'm doing this for everyone's best interest."

"I'm sure Nicole would agree with that." She spit out at him, a glare pointed at him from over her son's sleeping head. "Let's just get this over. The sooner you have everything the sooner I get Nicole back, and you get a bullet."

"Glad you're seeing it my way." He smugly perked up and started strolling to the museum's front door. "Come On! We've got places to be and things to get." He called as he reached the door and opened it for her with a flourishing bow.

"So what is it that you want from here in anyways?" She glared at him. "And what's with the cryptic list, wasn't enough to ruin my wedding you had to force me to play a sick game."

"For this to work you're going to have to choose what we get from this location, it has to be something you would want or this will all be in vain." He looked sadly at an old photo of the town, from a time more closely to his own. And like that the smugness was gone and the air around them became thicker, harder to breathe.

"So just anything." Her own emotions were turning, the rage flipping like a coin into an indescribable sadness.

"You're not listening. It has to be something that you would want."

"Why would I want anything in here? It's all older than me."

"There is value in some old things, Wynonna. Some may gather dust, some may provide protection."

"Screw you and your riddles." She used a hand and her body to cover Nedley's ears even if he was asleep. Children heard everything. Children repeated everything.

"Tick-tock." He emphasised by clicking his tongue but it lacked its previous fire.

She looked around, making sure to keep an eye on her less than helpful self-appointed helper and keeping her body as a shield between him and her son. Something she would want, something she would want, something she would want. There was nothing in this fucking place that she would want. Fuck him and fuck whatever it was he wanted. All she wanted was to get her fiancé back and marry the heck out of her.

Entering the next room she came up to a glass display case holding jewellery, some probably from a time when Wyatt was a child. So far it was the only thing in this drab and dusty place to catch her attention. She looked through it, there were a few earrings that had rusted or decayed at parts as well as different rings. There was even a wedding ring and she fucking hated it for causing the sharp pang in her heart. She didn't want to think about it because if she did then her heart would break. But now she was thinking about it and her head was arguing with her heart that nothing in her life had ever gone right and that as soon as she stopped looking for where it would all start disappearing then life would rip away the only good things she had left. Her son, her fiancé, her sister, her friends. She would lose them all and she would deserve it.

"Find something you want?" Bobo came and stood next to her, that same look in his eyes that she had. As if he didn't want to be here, didn't want this life he was given. Of course he wouldn't, who would want to spend their life stuck in one place waiting to be killed and sent to a place so bad that any torture was preferable.

"Not yet." She walked to the other side of the case, where more trinkets waited to be perused. "Do you ever think about after?" She couldn't stop it, she had to know what was waiting.

"After?"

"Hell." She clarified, they were in the same boat after all and even if he was now once again her enemy she needed someone to talk about this to.

"I prefer not to. Knowing that that is what awaits me is terrifying." She nodded, and emptily read the placards stuck under each item. "That is nothing compared to knowing where my angel is going." Again she nodded and released the breath she had been holding. They were on the same page now. "It's hard isn't it? They don't know what it feels like to lie each night awake, listening for any sound they might make to let you know that just for one more second you don't have to live with the pain of losing them. To spend each day worried to the bone that something might happen to them. Constantly so panicked that they might disappear that it cripples you, leaves you wounded and bleeding on the side of the road to be scavenged by vultures." He turned to another case, idly dawdling his time by, by scratching at some of the wooden frame. "What it feels like to know that when you die, that will be last time you ever see your child, the person you love, the people you call family. They'll all go up and only we go down." He let out a desperate mad chuckle, "Almost makes Hell feel like a holiday."

"Found something." She whispered, her throat choking the words in an effort to not release a sob. She lowered her head and smelled Nedley, taking in his lingering baby scent. Fabric softener and hair wax, for his clothes and his combed back black hair today. She needed to calm down, as long as she kept looking then life wouldn't be able to take them… yet.

"Good." He forced a chipper tone but there lingered vast amounts of their discussion in it. Just beneath the fractured surface.

"So now what?" She eyed the broach.

"You take it." He came over and looked down at the case, searching for what it was she had found.

"I think you might need spectacles again Bobo or do you not see the glass case that is locked?"

"Allow me." He brought his fist down on the dusty glass and it smashed into sharp pieces that flung down.

"Thanks." She replied sarcastically and pocketed the broach, walking swiftly to the exit before the one guard this place employed could wake up and arrest her. She would not allow her son to spend any amount of time in jail. Now or ever. Bobo brought up the rear, a dusty and bloody scribbled card in his bleeding hand.

"Where to next?" He asked and she frowned at him. Rolling her eyes she started up the car, checked one more time Nedley was properly buckled in and drove to the next address.

She was losing her patience again. She could deal with him being an ass, she could deal with him being cryptic and pretending not to know where to go, she could barely deal with them both forcing their discussion into the past, hell she could even deal with the fact that had this been under better circumstances this evil sadistic game of his might have been a little fun. What she couldn't deal with was him following her into the back of a clothing shop, placing her in front of three packages each with a small square piece of white cloth on and then just watching her looking at the options. The tension was killing her, how was she supposed to pick something when she only saw a small sample of it. For all she knew Bobo had arranged for her to pick her own body bag. If he did then she would hope he at least had the decency of showing her the thing first.

He looked again at his watch and sighed causing her eyebrow to start twitching immediately. "Need to be somewhere?" She bit out with vitriol.

"Yes actually." He bit back and took a deep breath, "And so do you."

"Well if I could see them then it would make this much easier." She almost yelled.

"Mommy?" Nedley yawned in her arms. "Where we?"

"Nedley baby, mommy needs help." She picked up the three swaths of material and held it above his tired face. "Which one do you like?"

Her son tiredly reached up and took each one, squeezing them in his hands before frowning at one. He took it away from the others and gave it back to her. "Do you like that one?"

He shook his head and went back to the other two. After another few seconds he rubbed them on his cheeks before doing the same with her.

"This one." He gave her his chosen one and rolled a little in her arms, trying and instantly succeeding in falling asleep again.

Child logic, you have to love its unknowing and inconsistent depths.

"There you have it." She glared at Bobo.

"Good enough, we're already going to be late if we stay here any longer." He walked out and she was forced to follow him this time. Ignoring the girl attendant that smiled more than professionally at him.

"Late for what?" She spat at him again, tired and cranky and sore and missing her fiancé sorely, almost physically.

"The ritual." He answered with a clack of his jaw and she wondered just what the hell kind of evil she was helping him with. Not that it mattered in the end, she would do anything, short of something harming Nedley, to get Nicole back.

She pulled up in front of the next location and nearly choked. Here she was with an asshole revenant in front of the Sheriff's home. Turning with a raised eyebrow to Bobo he gave her a shrug and a jaw clack before settling back in his seat. "You're not coming." She asked-stated angrily, curious as to why he wasn't meddling here and now.

"You're not going." He cracked his neck and pulled out a phone. One quick phone call later there was knocking on her car door window and she nearly jumped out of her skin. She had been too focussed on Bobo to realise that Sheriff Nedley's wife, Melody, had come out of the house to talk to them. Rolling the window down with some elbow grease and a loud squeak she smiled at the woman who had literally borrowed her the clothes off of her back, or something akin to that. "Good Afternoon Miss Nedley." He spoke kindly to the woman like he hadn't reverted back to the revenant whom terrorised this town for several decades.

"Hi Robert darling, is it all going well dear?" The woman spoke to him like they were old friends and Wynonna wasn't ashamed to admit that her mouth dropped from shock. Seriously, what the hell. Sheriff Nedley was bound to have found out by now and that meant his wife had to have known also.

"Perfectly but we are running a tad late. Unfortunately."

"Oh I understand, I'll be quick with Wynonna then. Oh by the way, Gladys won't make it to Bridge night this week. Her granddaughter was in a car crash and needs someone to look after her while the parents are gone."

"Nothing serious I hope."

"Oh no, no. Just an injured knee but you know how we old folk are."

"That I do, that I do." Bobo chuckled sincerely and turned away from Nedley's wife to her and it was like a switched was flipped. "Quickly Wynonna otherwise you'll have a disappointed bride thinking you left her at the altar." He threatened her as if it was the most common thing in the world, which to be fair might not be that far off. Over the last few years she had most likely heard every threat possible from the now dead revenants. Only three remained. Still, it pissed her the fuck off. Ruin her already shitty wedding, kidnap her fiancé, send her on fucking scavenger hunt to collect random trinkets by the looks of it to enact some evil ritual and threaten her! He should've stopped before the first one. He was lucky she didn't have Nicole yet or he would be in Hell right about now. Literal Hell not metaphorical hell.

She rolled her eyes and leaned further out of the car as if it would separate her from this asshole by any more space than a car could afford. It wasn't enough so she took the keys out of the ignition and got out.

"Now Wynonna dear you take this," Miss Nedley passed a brown paper parcel to her, "and remember dear, Robert is doing this for Nicole and you." She gaped as the woman patted her cheek kindly and walked away. WHAT THE FUCK. She was in on it‽ If she was in on it… was the sheriff? Would Sheriff Nedley betray her like that? No, no. That was ridiculous. There had to be a reasonable logical explanation for all of this.

Except she couldn't think of one. Why the hell would the sheriff's wife be helping this psychopath? An asshole psychopath at that. Well apparently they were also friends that played Bridge together but her point still stood. What the hell.

"Wynonna!" Bobo called from inside the car, seemingly irritated that she was wasting time by being befuddled at the circumstances she found surrounding her.

She shot him a dirty look before turning to Miss Nedley with a saccharine sweet smile to cover her ragingly floundering emotions, "Thank you Miss Nedley." She called and rushed to the car. "All done you jackass."

"Wonderful." He clapped his hands together sideways, the cups his hands formed sealing together for less than an instant before parting and allowing the sound to escape.

It sounded like a gunshot to her and she flinched… "Sorry Waverly." She whispered as her whitened fingers loosened from the steering wheel. Immediately she suckered punched Bobo across the face, right where the white streak was in his beard, and tried to tear the jacket off of his body. They were jostling about as she tried to reach into the jacket and grab Peacemaker to shoot his stupid fucking head but he recovered and used force to get her hands away from him.

"Stop!" He yelled and Nedley started crying from behind him. "Oh great, we woke him up. You take a few minutes to calm down while I take a few minutes to calm him down." He commanded like the piece of shit he was.

"If you think-"

"You know I would never hurt a child." No, just manipulate and kidnap them, her mind added ruefully. Waverly and Willa. Both affected because of him. Because of her. It really was difficult knowing that afterlife was certain but that it would send them only further away from her. At least they were going to go to a better place. That was all that mattered. That was all that mattered. That was all that mattered.

"Fine." She got out of the car again, slamming the door before impulsively turning back and fetching her crying son. Sending a glare to the revenant that was struggling with the child car seat seatbelt system. Bouncing him up and down as she tried to breathe through her own swirling emotions. Rage, fear, self-doubt, a little bit of hunger, growing calmness, love for her son, confidence that she would get Nicole back, the love she felt for the woman, the satisfaction she would get from killing Bobo, some more hunger- what, she was supposed to be by the homestead now enjoying their measly wedding reception food- and irritation.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. In. Out. In. Out.

"Mommy?" Her son snivelled in her arms, his red tear stained cheeks still heaving a little.

"It's okay baby. Mommy and Uncle Robert-"

"Grandfather!" Bobo yelled from the car, a smile on his lips that infuriated her. Him thinking he was anything to her son after today was a grave mistake, and soon he would be in his grave.

She shot him a dirty look before looking at her son again, "Granddaddy Robert," More like asshole, "we're just talking a bit."

"Okay… Wedding?" And just like that he was smiling again. His childhood naivety still sheltering him from how harsh the world really is for a while longer. Thank the stars.

"Soon baby." She hoped.

Stopping at the next location she was surprised to see that the homestead was within spitting distance. It was one of the few other farm plots this far out from town and had been in recent years on the market. That was till one day a month or so ago while she and Waverly were driving past it they had seen a 'sold' sign stuck across the for sale sign. Naturally it had sparked a gossip filled discussion about who their new neighbours would be, she thoroughly believed it was some poor celebrity sod from Hollywood that wanted to move out here to recover from whatever addiction they had while Waverly insisted that it was going to be someone they all knew that was just moving. That though was unhelpful as they all knew everyone because Purgatory was a small FUCKING town.

"Home-"

"Let's just get this over with." She interrupted Bobo and went to grab her son.

"Someone's grouchy." He tsked and followed her up the walkway which was in the process of being redone quite beautifully if she might add. Like something Waverly would have liked to do at the homestead. She knocked a few times before Bobo coughed behind her and pointed to the single stone on the wooden porch. Now she wasn't one to normally react physically to the stupidity of other, she wasn't, but she had to actually cover her face with her hand and slowly pull it down with a groan. This was some Waverly levels of believing in the goodness of others.

"There might be someone here." She said and knocked again, a little louder and more incessantly. After another few seconds she sighed and bent to retrieve the hollowed out stone that undoubtedly held the key to the house. "Fine."

Entering it she was surrounded by boxes upon boxes. No matter who had bought the place they definitely only started moving in today. Idly looking through the boxes as she passed she saw a bunch plush toys in one box, long white rabbit ears poking through the jumble of other animals and Wynonna almost did a double take. Those ears looked exactly like the stuffed bunny toy on her sister's bed. Reaching for the toy to just refute her doubts-

"Over here." She spun around making Nedley giggle a little in her arms and barely managed to catch the coin Bobo flipped in her general direction. Looking at the silver-ish British coin she frowned before scowling at Bobo.

"Why the hell did you just throw a coin at me?"

"It's a six-"

"I don't care what it is. I asked you why."

"Acts as protection." He shrugged simply. "It goes in your shoe for the ritual."

She rolled her eyes and nearly chucked the damn coin at his stupid fucking head. At least this was the last place on the list. "Where to now?" She growled out.

"Home Wynonna."

Turning right onto the road that would take them to the homestead she squinted through the barrage of sunlight. Late afternoon or early evening already. So many hours had already passed and her hope for marrying the heck out of Nicole today was setting with the sun. Let her be alive. Let her be alive. She hoped to everything that Nicole was still alive.

Turning left onto the dirt road of the homestead she frowned in awe. When had so many flowers grown onto their property? She was sure she hadn't seen them this morning. She had to have… didn't she? More strangely the flower were growing in a mix of black, white and pink. Not the soft pink flowers normally had but a bolder, hotter pink. When the hell had flowers gotten a sense of style? Or for that matter when had flowers started to arrange themselves decoratively across a lawn- wait… since when did the homestead have a lawn? Surely she would have noticed healthy green grass growing on their formerly dusty property. What the hell was going on? And then there was the house itself. The grey wood looked to be painted over in white. That was new, it had to be. She would definitely have noticed that. Maybe Waverly was stressed again? She did always like to do large home renovation things when she was stressed? In fact a few months ago she was talking about making a walkway for the homestead but it had never come to fruition. It wasn't that it seemed unlikely that Waverly would be able to do this all but in a matter of hours? Never.

"It looks amazeballs as my little angel would say." Bobo commented from her side, removing that ratty fur coat of his and wrapping it tightly around Peacemaker. "Park over there." He pointed to the side of the road just before the now white fence that marked the boundary of her land. She obliged more out of muscle memory rather than conscious thought as she was still busy trying to figure out when this had all happened.

She watched with Nedley in her arms as Bobo deposited Peacemaker into a shiny bucket labelled simply 'Gun Bucket' and it clattered against what had to be a few more guns. She followed him up the rest of the walkway, in awe at her surroundings. The flowers were parted wide along the middle to form a sort of informal road and stopped altogether a couple of meters from the house, leaving only grass in its wake. Glancing at her son she could tell he was intently focussed on figuring out what exactly had changed about their home since this morning. She was glad she wasn't the only confused one.

"Glad you two made it!" Rosita yelled from where she exited the front door. Wait, how on earth was Rosita and Bobo on this patch of land? It wasn't supposed to be possible, not since…

"How- how is this-"

"Waverly reburied the totem." Bobo informed her from her side, his spectacles once again present. When did he put them back on? What was going on?

"Yeah, it took us forever to find that thing." Rosita agreed. "Did you guys get everything?"

"Just hold on a," She covered Nedley's ears with her hands, "goddamn minute. What the hell is going on here?"

"She still hasn't figured it out?" Rosita asked Bobo.

"We all know how oblivious she can be." He replied and she felt slighted. Sure she may have been a teeny tiny itty bitty bit oblivious in the past but it isn't as if there was some obvious sign that she should have seen today to clue her in on what was happening.

"I swear if someone doesn't tell me what's going on right fucking now, I'll-"

"Something old, something new." Bobo sing-songed rhythmically to shock her into silence.

"Something borrowed, something blue." Rosita continued.

"And a silver sixpence in her shoe." Waverly spoke from behind and she was forced to spin around and gape at her sister and their remaining friends, the iron witch's sister now also there, standing just behind her.

"It's a wedding tradition, Nonna." Nicole spoke from the porch and she had to once again spin on the spot. She was real, Nicole was really standing there on their porch. Not kidnapped, not in danger but completely free and looking smoking hot in a beautiful wedding dress. She ran up with Nedley bouncing in her arms and hugged her fiancé as tight as she could, getting an equally fierce hug back in return. Letting her head rest on the redhead's shoulder she breathed her in a few times, however long they had been parted today was way too long in her opinion.

Slowly it was starting to make sense. This fucking beautiful bunch of bastards.

"If you ever pull any crap like this again, I'll shoot you." She whispered and kissed Nicole hard after, letting her tears of relief run free. Shit, she was crying on her wedding day. She only broke it up when two little hands tried to desperately to separate them from each other, not feeling overjoyed to be squished between his parents.

"Momma found you!" He yelled excitedly and jumped out of her arms to hug Nicole.

"Hey little man. Did you have a good time today?"

"Yes." He answered with no lacklustre.

"Cool." She smiled down at him and stroked his black hair back. "Waves?"

Waverly came and collected her ward for the day one more time but before she could retreat Wynonna had to have one answer.

"Why?" She asked.

"It's time. It's been cramped for a while now and you're going on to make an entirely new family and having your kid sister here isn't right. Besides it's just down the road. Practically within spitting distance and dad will also be living there."

"Home sweet home." Robert chipped in from behind them.

"Did you guys get everything?" Nicole asked.

"We did indeed." Robert stepped up and held the packages balanced on each other with the broach on top, resting on the slightly bloodied placard that was stuck beneath it a mere few hours ago.

"Well, let us get this wedding underway then as they would say." Doc spoke up and immediately everyone rushed around to do tasks she didn't know about. Was she really that oblivious that everyone she knew could arrange this whole wedding job under her nose and she wouldn't notice? No, there was no way. It couldn't be.

Robert grabbed her and guided her up to her room and for the first time since the interruption in this morning's apparently fake wedding she didn't feel like killing him. Settling on the bed she looked at the things he placed in her lap. The broach that had caught her eye in the museum and the story scribbled on a page below it. Her something old that had belonged to another woman on the frontier lands that had fought to protect a town similar to Purgatory.

"Something old to protect the baby to come." She raised her eyebrow at him and he shrugged, "It is an odd and strange life we live. Where going to and coming back from hell is possible, where a gun only fires when used by a specific person over a specific age, where you have witches and a half human dragons. What's to conceivably say that two woman can't sire a child of their own."

Looking at the larger package she nearly choked when it fell away to reveal a white wedding dress.

"Something new." He appraised the dress that anyone would be able to see was made to fit her.

Reluctantly she placed it down and looked at the final package, the one they had gotten from the sheriff's wife. It made more sense now her friendly demeanour. Opening it she found a blue floral garter.

"Something borrowed and something blue. To bring good luck and fidelity, respectively."

"And the coin?"

"A British sixpence that goes in your shoe, to promote prosperity."

"When- how- why?" There were too many question storming in her head.

"Like I said earlier I'm doing this in everyone's best interest. You never celebrated anything that a bride should before or during her wedding, and that is poisonous to a relationship. Maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow but one day along the line you would have thought one simple thought." He paused, "What if. From there the thoughts would only fester and grow till you hated Nicole for no actual reason."

"As for how, well you saw the witch and it was a simple magic trick. A shell game, my dear Wynonna. While you were focussed here," he shook his right hand, "we were operating here." He shook his left hand. "The when was just after one of your larger fights with Nicole, she realised that following conventional methods wouldn't get either of you what you wanted. So we all actively worked to make the wedding you thought you were having worse and worse while doing everything we could to make this real one better and better."

"Which fight?"

"The one where you two were pointing your guns at each other… about the guns."

"Thanks." She thanked him for much more than answers.

"My pleasure."

"And about the museum…"

"The best thing to do is to spend as much time with them now as possible. Good or bad, you'll always have memories." The sad look was back in their eyes, or maybe it had never left. Maybe they just hid it. "Now you need to get dressed." He slipped out the door and only entered again when she called him in.

"Can you zip me up please?" After that was done she readjusted her hair, letting it all hang loose in their natural curls.

"Ready to go?"

"Yeah." She cast one more look out of the window, looking at her happy family talking to Sheriff Nedley and his wife, all so happy and oblivious. They deserved it though, they didn't deserve the cold she and Robert had… and then she nearly froze. Her mother. Her mother was here and talking to people she had only seen in photos on Nicole's phone.

Nicole's parents. Shit. Shit. Shit. She was not ready to go.

"You were bound to meet the in-laws at some point."

"I know." He led her outside to give her away to Nicole.

It was their wedding.

It was theirs.

It was perfect. It was them. It was what they wanted.

 **I shot the sheriff:**

"Nonna!" She heard Nicole cry, the terror in her wife's voice after the gunshot that had just rang out driving her muscles to work faster, to work harder as she pushed herself out the Black Badge Division door at the station. Crashing past the desks she ran into the sheriff's office, the only place left where Nicole could be.

Running in she nearly tripped when she saw the blood on Nicole's hand as she was bent over the sheriff. Frantically looking over her rounding wife she saw no visible injuries then she looked over Sheriff Nedley and saw his leg was bleeding.

"Nonna, call an ambulance." Nicole yelled shocking her out of her shock.

"No." Dolls crashed into the office with his raised gun, only a pair of semi-wet boxers on and the rest of his body still soaked from the decontamination shower he had been taking. "I'll take him, it'll be quicker."

"It's just a graze." Sheriff Nedley groaned out, the pain from his graze still making him see stars.

"No arguments old man." She looked him dead in the eye and he grumbled something about kids and guns.

She held Nicole long after Dolls and the sheriff were away, hugging her while she cried. Only when her wife was completely still did she dare ask, "Nicky, what happened?"

"My gun discharged accidently. I don't know why." She whispered before jerking upright abruptly. "Oh my god. I shot the sheriff." Her eyes were wide in terror at her delayed but sudden revelation.

"At least you didn't shoot the deputy." She couldn't help it. It wasn't her fault. The perfect opportunity had just presented itself. She smiled in pure pleasure at her wife and scrambled to get away from the well-deserved playful slap Nicole was trying to give her.

"That was the worse joke I have ever heard!" Nicole yelled as she chased her through the empty police station.

"Honestly! You didn't have to try and kill Nedley to get a promotion!" She half-called half-giggled back at her wife.

"I wasn't!" Nicole was gaining on her, giggling mad and Wynonna took a left into the Black Badge division.

"You were the one that forced him to put off his retirement for another two years after all!"

"I still blame you for that!" Nicole yelled and trapped Wynonna between the wall and her own body. Their faces mere millimeters away from each other.

"Oh, and just how much do you blame me?" She whispered and licked her lips, using a nail to toy with the top button of her wife's uniform. To coax her in further.

"What are you playing at here Nonna?" Nicole eyed her suspiciously, taking in their surroundings and realizing where they were.

"This." And she turned on the shower grabbing Nicole around her pregnant belly to stop her from avoiding the freezing water.

In all honesty, Wynonna could live with the sheriff being shot, as long as it was a minor injury at the most, but not with the deputy being shot.

 **Notes:**

 **Hoped you enjoyed.**

 **Honestly, I believe the first work deserves to read twice. Just to see how ambiguous some of the sentences are.**

 **The second work is of course taken from the Eric Clapton song 'I shot the sheriff' and serves as a little cute follow up to the first work.**

 **I hate works based in small towns. They're too constricting.**

 **When I was asked to do something with angst I didn't really want to. Mainly because this world has enough of that in reality and it's nice to sometimes just focus on the positives for a while. That though is also unhealthy. So I compromised, a work that on a surface level appeared as angst but was essentially wedding fluff and a buddy drama. When read a second time you'll see that from Wynonna's perception Bobo is an ass but in fact he really is trying to help. Also there is a tiny amount of angst, as you have read.**

 **If you have read it twice please comment your initial and secondary reactions to the work.**

 **Hoped you liked. Comments are always loved, really really loved. Check out my profile and if you want more works in this series then please just send me ideas**


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